One Year

Today, a year ago, Brad & I said goodbye to our home of 3 years in Taiwan. As I look back I can’t believe that it has been a year already. We still speak as though it was just the other day that we were there.

So much has happened. So little has happened. Time has flown, yet it seems like it’s taken us a long time to get to where we are. Things certainly didn’t turn out the way we had imagined they would.

I remember the day that we climbed on the plane at Kaohsiung International Airport in Taiwan. There wasn’t even the slightest bit of remorse at our decision. In fact we couldn’t wait to leave. Looking back now, I realise that our desire to leave was fueled by our excitement of the 3 week South-East Asia whirlwind tour we were about to embark on, and then ultimately being reunited with our families and friends in South Africa. What we really needed was just to get away for a while, explore, relax, and spend time with the people who really mean the world to us.

Our trip was amazing – an experience I hope we will have the fortune of repeating. Being reunited with our family was truly a special occasion. I will never forget the evening we arrived in Cape Town where a very large group of friends & family welcomed us with balloons, banners, hugs, kisses and of course tears of joy. That was an incredible experience – the feeling of love, acceptance & belonging that accompanied it was just what we needed.

The ensuing months brought with it a mixture of excitement (with marriage proposals, birthdays and Christmas) and anxiousness (finding jobs, finding a place to stay, wedding plans). It all culminated on the 30th of April at our wedding where we once again had all of the people we love celebrate the commitment we were making to one another. The months between the engagement (December) and the wedding (April) seemed to take absolute ages. The months since the wedding have really flown by – at the end of this month we’ll have been married for 3 months already.

The truth is, that we have only just started settling down into what is our life in South Africa. The irony is, that with each day that passes we miss Taiwan more and more. The topic of returning comes up daily in our conversation but we realise that at least for the present, we need to stay in South Africa.

Coming back to South Africa has been an eye-opener. Initially I was thrilled at being back. There’s something very reassuring about returning to your motherland. South Africa is such a cosmopolitan country filled with diverse groups of people. Being able to identify that through new eyes, and embrace it was a fantastic feeling.

It was also exciting to once again submerge ourselves in good old South Africa things like boerewors, braaivleis, koeksisters, milktart and rusks. Driving in a car and not worrying about being knocked off my scooter or getting wet in the rain was a definite highlight. Being able to give my mom and dad a hug or meet up with some friends for coffee brought me great joy.

Then there were the things that dampened my excitement at being back…realizing how the crime rate had increased – and that the value of a persons life had been reduced to the money in your wallet or the cell phone in your hand. Seeing the poverty up close as you drive past the informal settlements along the highway…people glad to just have some kind of a structure to call home. Realising how unbelievably blessed I have been to always have a permanent structure to live in, that protected me from the elements and danger. Learning to accept – or tolerate – the taxi drivers and their inconsiderate, illegal manner of driving…realizing that if I valued my life I should rather bite my tongue & not wave my hands at the taxi drivers in anger and frustration.

Settling in has been a long process. Finding jobs that we are both satisfied and qualified for has been challenging. It’s the catch 22 situation of being declined for a job because you don’t have enough experience (or any at all) and finding someone who will give you the chance to get the experience with them. Then there’s the Affirmative Action scenario where in order to qualify for certain advertised positions, you need to fall within a particular gender and or race group. Previously disadvantaged groups are also given preference in certain instances. At times I’ve wondered if the thousands of Rands spent on my university degree have been worth it – and whether my degree actually means anything. Salaries have been laughable after salaries earned in Taiwan.

Slowly but surely we are settling in though. We’re renting a little townhouse, which has become a home for us – at least for the next year. Upon entering, there’s a distinctive Asian feel about the way we’ve decorated. We were fortunate to collect many lovely pictures & items that have enabled us to keep that Asian feel alive. Our plan is to get one more sofa & a nice snuggly rug for the living room & then that area of our home will be finished. We’re hoping that in a year from now we will be able to purchase fixed property of our own. For the time being, we’ll enjoy the house we’ve been blessed with & make it as homely as we can.

Job-wise I imagine that things can only get better. The last year has been rough. Brad had no desire to carry on working in line with what he’d studied and didn’t know where to start looking for a new career. But as time has proved, a progression of events has led Brad to a place where he is able to use his ability to teach & train as well as keep himself intellectually stimulated while helping others. I believe that although working for a NPO is frustrating at times (financially) it will set him up for further opportunities within the corporate sphere in the future.

For me, I’m waiting for my lucky break…I’ll keep you posted.

I’ve started taking my oil painting more seriously and I sold a painting on Saturday. I’ve been commissioned to paint two other paintings and I’m hoping that this will grow into something even bigger. The plan is to start building up a collection of paintings and then in the summer months I can go and put up a stall at a craft market approximately once a month & try and get a bit of extra income.

I’m also getting into my photography & have plans of attending a professional photography course in the near future. So who knows…? We’ll see where that takes me.

This was really just an opportunity for me to reminisce about where we’ve been & where we are now. The most important thing I’ve realized is that the grass is not always greener on the other side. When we were in Taiwan we wanted to be back in South Africa. Now that we’re back in South Africa we daydream of being back in Taiwan. We just have to make the most of what we have now. I really can’t complain. I’m married to the most incredible man and we’re surrounded by people who love and care for us.

Thank you for the part that you play in my journey.